


Honoka And Umi Talks About Bidets

by EdamamiTomoe



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: there's literally nothing i can tag this with, this is completely based off of a random thought i had the other day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 15:23:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15643521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdamamiTomoe/pseuds/EdamamiTomoe
Summary: Honoka and Umi talks about bidets.





	Honoka And Umi Talks About Bidets

“Hey Umi-chan, you know those toilets that shoot water out to clean your butt?”  
“...? You mean the ones with bidets? Yeah, what about them?”  
“Oh, they’re called bidets? Huh. Aren’t they weird?”  
“Err, sure? What brought this up, Honoka-chan?”  
“I was watching the TV the other day and I saw on TV a commercial for it.”  
“Ah, right.”  
“I wonder why they invented that though. Isn’t it kinda weird to like, have water shoot up from the toilet at you?”  
“I would imagine that the water shot up is clean, and not taking directly from the toilet bowl. But I can understand why you might feel that way.”  
“I guess that’s true. Still, I can’t imagine using it, I’d rather just use toilet paper.”  
“That’s understandable. I don’t think it was invented for the likes of us anyways, it seems more like an accessibility tool for those who have trouble wiping themselves. Seniors, or simply people with disabilities restricting their mobility.”  
“Ohhh, that’s true… Umi-chan is so smart…”  
“Eh.”

A moment of silence passes.

“What if the water’s too strong?”  
“I’d… hope it wouldn’t be. I mean, it would make a pretty big mess if it is.”  
“It’d be like in those cartoons where the water gushes up and pushes the person through the ceiling-”  
“It’s not going to be like that.”  
“Imagine though!”  
“No.”  
“Boo.”

Another moment of silence passes.

“Do you think your family might get it?”  
“I doubt it. My parents are pretty traditional, I doubt they would want to add some newfangled technology like that to their bathrooms. Too much water use, too expensive, blah blah blah. Not really a big deal though.”  
“Ooohh. I think I’d wanna try using it first before getting one.”  
“Implying you can get one.”  
“Huh?”  
“I mean, that decision is kind of up to your parents, Honoka-chan.”  
“Ohhh, you’re right, that’s true.”  
“Mhmm.”

Another moment of silence.

“...What do you do after using it?”  
“What?”  
“Like, after you use it, and your butt is all wet and stuff, you don’t just put your pants on like that, do you?”  
“I mean, I… I guess not. Maybe they add something to the toilet to allow blow drying?”  
“Eeew, that’s so weird.”  
“Eh.”  
“What if you wipe with a towel instead?”  
“You’d probably have to put that towel in the wash after then, because that’s a lot of E. coli you’re wiping onto that towel.”  
“Toilet paper then? ...But then again, the bidet is supposed to replace the toilet paper…”  
“...”  
“...I wonder how they do it.”  
“We’d probably have to ask someone who uses one.”  
“Yeah, you’re right.”  
“Mhmm.”  
“Yep.”

Silence.

“Do you think you can drink from a bidet?”  
“Honoka-chan, that’s really weird.”  
“Do you though?”  
“Even if it’s clean, would you want to?”  
“I dunno.”  
“Honoka.”  
“I’m serious!”  
“...”  
“What!?”  
“Nevermind.”

Silence.

“Do you think there’s temperature control for the bidet water?”  
“Honoka-chan, do I look like I know the answer?”  
“I dunno, do you?”  
“Why don’t you just like, look it up or something? You’ll find more answers that way.”  
“Ohh, you’re right, yeah. I’ll try googling it when I get home then.”  
“Yeah, do that. That’s a good idea.”  
“I agree, it is a good idea.”  
“Mhmm, it sure is.”  
“That’s right, it is.”  
“Yep.”  
“It is a very good idea.”  
“Okay.”  
“A good idea indeed-”  
“Honoka.”  
“Yes.”  
“...”  
“...”


End file.
